Raising Two "Only Children"

This Halloween, I found myself reflecting on what it means to raise two "only children."

My son is now old enough to go trick-or-treating with his friends, and as I watched him head out without me, I felt that little discomfort in my stomach. That bittersweet feeling of watching your child grow more independent and realizing they need you a little less.

I went trick-or-treating alongside my daughter, enjoying our time together while feeling that same little discomfort, knowing that she isn't yet at a place where she can head out independently with a group of friends.

It got me thinking about what it really means to meet our children where they are.

Not where we think they should be, where their peers are, or even where we might have imagined they would be by now. But right where they are, recognizing their individual needs, celebrating their progress, and supporting them as they continue to grow.

Sometimes that means stepping back, trusting their abilities, and giving them the space to figure things out on their own. Other times, it means staying close, offering support, and intentionally creating opportunities for connection, belonging, and independence.

And perhaps one of the hardest parts of parenting is learning to recognize what each child needs from us at any given moment, while keeping our own expectations in check. Meeting our children where they are doesn't mean lowering expectations or giving up on possibilities.

It means accepting and appreciating who they are today while continuing to nurture their growth and expand their opportunities for tomorrow.

At the end of the day, I don't need my children to have the same experiences, reach the same milestones, or follow the same path. I want each of them to feel capable, connected, included, and fulfilled in their own lives.

Two children, two unique individuals, and one mom who is continuously learning when to hold on, when to let go, and how to be the parent each of them needs.